A Swan Cart ~

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So I wrote to a God. Prayed to her. Asked her if all this would end someday. She never answered. She never replied. And, my belief somehow turned into a mixture of sin and happiness. How do you ask a God to be yours only? How do you ask for her to be everything that you have lacked in life? Can Gods do that? I did not know. I wanted to find it out. I wanted to know that when the world ends, would she sit and cry with my remains. Oh, the foolish nature to be a human. Oh, the dreams humans weave to be fine. I wanted her to be there, and Gods, I am told are of everybody's. So I let my belief turn into love... slowly falling as words on blank pages.

I am fine, I am fine, I am fine.

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In that moment I wanted to belong. To something. A person would have been better, but it is not always healthy. So, I looked for things people do not go for. A tree on a road, a swing in a park, a hide out in my own room. I looked for things that people would not look for, like the part of terrace that was always nearer to the railing, three steps before the floor merged with the staircase, a place where I drank tea and hoped each time that my sadness would dissolve like a biscuit. It only floated in it, losing its shape.

In that moment I wanted to run away. Not physically, mentally. Like how people take strolls? I wanted to take a long stroll where nobody would find me and say something. Where nobody would ask me if I am being selfish, or why do I not care about others. I wanted to run away and be found.

It messed up with my brain, it fueled my rage, it hurt my insides, and I took it all like a whiny champion fashioning my anguish in the name of poetry.

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A day in God's life ~

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Dadi's Sakhi ~

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The snapdragons haunt me ~

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A prayer ~

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The Mirror Images

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