The first thing you'd
Probably notice is the hair
Its curly, unruly with little shade of red
People usually comment its beautiful
When its left open, for the wind to grace
But mostly I tie it up in a bun, restricted
My hair mirroring what I'm inside
Someone so eager to escape, maybe even pretty
But so held in fear that she stays bound
Next are the well written eyes
Kohl drawn over, so dark
It hides the traces of my sleepless nights
And sometimes, catch the whispers of the lights
I fondly chase
The nosepin is silver and huge
A little hard to miss with the bright red lipstick
I know I said I stay in bounds
But I'm also loud, and not easy to miss
It's like the clothes I dress in
You see me but don't actually see me
It's a haunting game of peekaboo
At any given point my fingers
Would be home to 6 odd bright rings
Yes rings are my bling
I peep through windows
I will check under the rug
Between the pots and pans I will search
I will undress your soul to know you
Because my hands are always searching for stories
And that's why I come armed with rings
Hoping they catch the ones that slip through my fingers
Hi I'm El, nice to meet you!-
He is a dream
That should only exist in my head
He is the past, a story, a memory
I wish to bury in the deepest parts of me
Bury them so deep
That they lose the power
To haunt my present anymore-
When the chaos inside my head
Has no outlet,
When words refuse to form
And writing seems like a ghost I never knew
I feel stuck when
It is easier to bleed than
To get a word on paper
When the one thing in the world
That liberated my soul refuses to
Come to me and wanders around
Like a fleeting wish slipping from
My grasp
Writing - always present inside
But refuses to materialise for me-
What happens to broken hearts:
A tug of war resides inside,
Too scared to trust again
Skeptical of every stranger that passes
Even if these people come bearing love
In their hearts-
I'm grateful for having had things and people
That I can miss today
Of course it hurts
But I'm glad I have lived enough
To have something to miss
-
For five minutes in the shadows
The world ceases to exist
And we are lovers engulfed in passion
-
I'll call a priest
I'll call a witch
And hope they can drag the dark hues
You left on my soul
I will get the priest to perform
An exorcism
And have the witch make me a doll
And pierce some needles into
The fucking voodoo doll
Before I chop its head off
And if the devil comes
Looking for sinners
I will give them you
Served like a severed head
On a platter
And watch them devour you
I hope they enjoy
The bitterness of your soul!
-
Like stripping off garments
I stand before my heart's doorstep
Strip my troubles away
Let them crowd on the floor
Walk into my home
Lie down on a plush white rug
Sipping whisky, smoking a cigarette,
Music playing from the speakers
I stare into the empty roof and fade into oblivion.-
The way you love, protect and care for people you love
I wonder when you would do the same for you
The fierceness of your love, protectiveness, kindness and
The encouragement that you extend to your near ones
I wonder when you would do the same for you
You wont let anyone mess with them
You will not let them speak ill of themselves
You will always support them
You always push them forward but with love
And still I wonder, how long darling
How long until you love yourself
The way you love others
Your love is fierce
It is all consuming
Gorgeous and powerful
Eternal and strong
Your love is special
And it is beautiful
And I cant wait to see
What that love could do
For yourself-