what hurts more?
anger or indifference?

-

A crumpled white shirt.
Speaking
Unlike the tongue in the brick.
He asked me to stay.
To make the mundane look pretty.
When was it?
The silhouette of the vase
And remnants of eyes
On the reading glass
It shut off
And lit up
On the white
'nothing stand still'
The light bends in search
For all the right places
The stillness is more peaceful than the movement
I like the mundane.
I expect less.
I get more.

-

i am not scared of the storm.
it's the calm i fear.

-

Have you looked into the eyes of someone who is lost?
I look at them everyday in the mirror.

-

But the memories still wake me up at night. It was a weird night altogether. Broken spectacles, thrown plates, chewing my own teeth, slaps aimed at the only man in my life, being threatened to be left alone on the street and the anticipation of fear of somebody dear to me being dead at night. Above all, the realization of being not strong enough to curse with all my heart, the man who perpetrated it all.

-

everybody who is imposed
with an idea hates it
It's not the idea they despise
but the imposition
so they run and rebel
against the idea.
Nobody wants to be a mirror
of what the world wants to see
except they do.
we are all trying to be accepted
some of us trying to be happy.

-

Festivals have this knack of making people feel lonelier than ever before. It's the very burden that you are supposed to be happy and are supposed to celebrate is what triggers the sadness even further. When even the world expects you to cry in joy, you are still sad and no amount of light and diyas can make you feel nice about yourself. Then you look around to see how lonely you are and how other people are celebrating and how there is this apparent lack of external force of celebration. Where nobody close to you is calling you or texting you. They are busy in their own world and probably have forgotten you for the time being. You victimize yourself even further in sadness. Even if your rejection isn't reality.
But this sadness is peaceful. It makes one look inside oneself more and what is it that they are and intending to be. There is so much peace and consensus with the existence of pain.
You adapt. You accept. You live.

-

How does it feel one day when you open your eyes and realize that you have lost yourself completely?

-

There's so much sound.
Everyone is speaking.
Sense.
Or they think they are.
I am suffering from a thought headache.
That has stopped my sleep.
But not dreams.
Or say nightmares.
I am heavy.
In the mind.
My legs don't stop moving.
The negativity has seeped in to my toes.
And it's restless.
I wish to sleep.
Without this pain forever.
This ache is building up in my heart.
And I can respire.
But not breathe.
Turning my soul into just a shell.
I am waiting for the message.
Or someone's voice.
Before I die.

-

People make plans for living the next day and they die.

-