I Wish Later Would Come Sooner

You said you’d be home later. When is later again? I only ask because later scares me. Later could be an hour, which is fine, but later could also mean three days or a week, or a whole month.. when does later end? Later ends when I’m in your arms, with my head on your chest, and you’re telling me everything is okay and that it wasn’t that big a fight.... but until later comes, I have no idea when later is.

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New life

These days I find myself cutting more and more people off. Getting older sounds colder when you say it like that, but the truth is for the first time in a long time I’m starting to feel warm again. see I stopped chasing your shadow, and started living for myself instead. I have a new life and she’s wonderful! My new life loves me and I love her too! She is warm, she wraps me in love and light, she makes me feel brand new. She has given me a new love and new friends who have shown me new things. I am thankful for every blessing in my life, which means I’m thankful for you too, but now it’s time for us each to go and enjoy our new lives.

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L. O. V. E
When I was younger somebody asked me if I believe in love at first sight. My initial thought was, “why not?”. Why couldn’t there be such a wonderful and crazy thing as two people seeing each other across the room; knowing that’s what they wanted forever? Now as I’ve grown I’ve learned that love is not a simple glance across the room. Love is laughter. Love is the look on your face as you lean in to give a kiss. Love is being unafraid to call you mine. Love is quite. Love creeps up on you in the middle of the night when you are having yet another unending conversation. Love is forehead kisses and strawberry waffles in the morning. Love is taking that extra step—going that extra yard to make your significant other feel appreciated, protected, understood, and above all else that they are worthy of love.

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Comfortable silence.

Drive with me on this quiet night.
Cruise with me and don’t say a word.
Let me feel the security of having your hand in mine as we drive down the back roads laughing at nothing and listening to the wind roar in our ears. Sit with me and let the music be our conversation and let the tempo set the speed. Come with me and relish in this beautifully comfortable silence.

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It’s been two years

It’s been two years since I last saw your face.
It’s been two years since I last heard your voice.
It’s been two years since you told me you’d love me forever.
It’s been two years since I told you I never wanted to speak to you again.
It’s been two years since we went rock climbing.
It’s been two years since I walked out on you when you yelled at me.
It’s been two years since I was sure I was gonna be with you forever.
It’s been two years since you asked me to forgive you for being dishonest about the girls you’d been “hanging out” with
It’s been two years, and I still get flashes of you and the lies you told me.
It’s been two years and I’ve never regretted losing you.
It’s been two years and you messaged me last month.

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Living with the pain

I’m depressed and stressed. I find the need to get these words off my chest. I can’t seem to rest without you here by my side. I lied when I said I was fine. There’s a line between a cry and a wine but it’s thin and its one I always seem to find myself in. Finding myself, now that’s a conundrum. I feel like I’m always chasing a shadow.....but I know....the secret to my happiness...and how to keep myself sane....is to live with the pain...

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Weak
Im tired and weak
so weak I can’t pull up the sheets over my depression riddled face
face
I see your face as you turn away from me for the last time over and over
over
that’s what we decided we were on Friday, February 14th at two in the morning
morning
I’m still not done mourning over you
you
you made me feel strong and like I could do anything
anything
I’ll do anything to get away from here
here
here is the only place you want to
be
be we just weren’t meant to be

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Just Eat

Oh how I wish I could just eat, my insides ache and my body is shaking. It is sounding alarms and making a commotion! It wants to be fed. But what? That’s too greasy! That’s too salty! That’s not protein! Oh, I think I’m gonna be sick... I want to eat. I just want to eat. I want to take a bite of something and not ache for hours, I want to chow down on something and not make myself fall sleep after just to help numb the pain. I don’t want to have to wake up and smoke just to choke something down, just for it to give me hell later. I want to eat without pain. I want to eat without crying. I want my insides to stop yelling at me. I need to eat. You say just eat.

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Hickey

No, I don’t want your bite mark on my tit, or my neck or my wrist? really dude wrist? No I don’t need any visible reminders of us giving into our carnal instincts. I don’t want to be branded with your teeth, forced to where a purple badge on my chest, almost as if you can see the damage you did to my heart. So please keep your mouth to yourself, because tomorrow when you’re gone and you’ve left me for good I will still be branded by someone who doesn’t want what they have claimed.

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Broken sink

When the sink is broke in the kitchen you don’t go get a new house, you fix it. When the lightbulbs go out and the hot water goes off you put on a toolbelt and hunt down the problem. When you ignore the problems then the problems get worse, and all you have is a broken down house that no one wants to live in..... SO FIX THE SINK!

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