I sat down to write a poem
And then I noticed you walking in
Through the doors of that cute cafe
Which I had made my home for the last one week
I decided to observe poetry rather than writing it today
I ordered my coffee and saw
Your perfect wavy hair
Tied in a cute blue ribbon.
Your smile was Oh so soothing!
You ordered the same coffee
And I childishly made you my soulmate
Maybe you are from North
For you are Fair as snow
With those small sparkling eyes
You make me urge to know you more.

Is it too soon if I say I am falling for you?
A stranger so perfect I'd meet, I had no clue.
So with all my courage I am getting up to say a Hi.
Maybe you could find it strange and say goodbye.
But I must let you know how you made me feel
Maybe I'll see you tomorrow or maybe never again?
So I must say now
Oh wait! You leaving so soon?
I wish you could have waited a few minutes more.
I shall go back to my hot coffee turned cold,
And let my pen describe what I just saw.

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Happy and bright faces around,
Everyone laughing out loud.
I try to do the same,
If I would not, that will be a shame.
I wonder,
Can anyone hear the silence in me?

I smile so wide for that perfect group picture, My inner self wanting to leave at this juncture!
I bid my friends goodbye
Saying" For the next time, I'll try".

I returned to my room,
Straight to bed with a sense of impending doom.
Finally taking off my fake mask,
Mixing with people, too big a task!

I fight with my insecurities,
Haunted thought of the past
and failures of the present.
The anger, the hate take over my mind
The struggle within, one of a kind.

The night witnesses my tears,
Bringing me little peace.
How overpowering are my fears!
Me hoping them to release.

Although silence ravages my soul
But it comforts my hidden demons.
For I know no one will understand,
So I shall just continue to pretend.

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Dear Sunset,

Can we be lovers?
So that even if you leave the ending can be beautiful!
There will be hope you'll return..
Even though we will not be together I'll watch you every dusk and your warmth would be the same.
You'll be far and everyone will be praising your beauty, I'll just smile thinking you were mine!

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I had a strange feeling
I imagined a room full of people
Couples dancing happily together
I am trying to locate myself
Yes I see myself finally
In my late 30's
In a beautiful maroon gown
I am Dancing, but alone.
To my own tunes, rather than the music of the room.
Not caring of the stares in that room
Now the irony is do I picture myself as someone who is self sufficient and proud or someone who is numb because she had enough in life!
In both cases,there is pain of not being the other.
So I wonder and close my eyes
And let that feeling die.

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The night used to be comforting
Now it is the most disturbing.
I used to read, write and paint
Now it's hollowness eats me alive.
I used to be lively
Now finding a reason for the same.
My eyes speak of the my deepest fear,
That come out at dark to scare.
Days are okay, with people on the other side of this screen,
With this silence now, the tick-tock of the room clock makes me want to scream.

Eagerly waiting for the time to pass by,
So that I get tired of my thoughts
And finally sleep in the bed nearby.
Snuggling my body,
I'll hug myself consoling everything will be fine.
Waking up the next noon, forgetting the night struggles.
I'll open my laptop again to start the daily hustle.

-

My comfort zone,

Where I don't have to pretend anymore.

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Paid Content

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अबकी बार आने की सोचो,
तो ज़रा फुर्सत से आना।
हमेशा जल्दी आने की आदत में,
तुम बाद में ठहरते नहीं।।

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तुम ख़्वाब ही रहो, तो भी ठीक है।
कम से कम, मेरा तो हो।।

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Hey there!

The situation im which you are today, I too was sometime. People say it gets better with time. At start it doesn't seem we'll be able to get out of those memories because we were way too attached, way too innocent!
They spoilt your fairytale and knowing everything too, you don't want to accept that its over or at least should be over.

Think of it this way, the love and care you shower for non deserving people in life how beautiful it would be it someone reflects the same for you! Or more importantly you do that for yourself?

Trust me it gets better with time. The moment you don't let those memories overpower your will of coming out of them, things start getting better.

There are better people out there, maybe right beside you! You just need to give yourself another chance to love yourself the most this time!
You have parents who would never leave you, you have a sibling to hug and irritate. You have some wonderful friends. Look and them, pause for a while and smile!

And it will get better.. Don't worry.

Touchwood to your happiness !

Love,
Vaishali

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