To the-deparated-parts-of-me

//Caption//

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This 2020, i promise to

- sleep a little less
- smile a little more
- read a lot more
- hate myself a little less
- try a little harder
- love myself a lot lot more
- procrastinate a lot less
- cry my heart out
- live a life

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Dear J,

The sky is so beautiful today. So blue with white clouds. Is it the same where you are? Are you watching? But it’s cold. Like our hearts. Do you feel it? Giving me rain when asked for warmth, giving me pain when asked for relief.

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An Adventure

Midnight-
thoughts, questions
what-ifs, why-nots
not good enoughs
void, sudden aches
just a drop of tear
Ferris wheel
decisions-drunken?
screens to escape
the flashes of baggage
a burden
words won't come out
a person to talk to?
curling up on the thorns
in need of pain
punishment
—
sleep seems a distant destination
an adventure

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To get somethings you need to leave somethings behind for a while.

#settingpriorities

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Dear diary,

These days, I feel like there is nothing much to say. And I also feel like there is so much inside that I cannot fathom and put them into a proper form. I miss writing like I used to. The thought of sitting and trying to write seems impossible to me now. Idk what I should talk about, but then, there is this feeling that I'm replacing all of this with some other things and making a translucent veil where I can see but not the clear picture. Idk what to choose. I'm missing something. There's an incompleteness though I feel there is nothing more to fill.

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Office diaries #9

Doing things even though you know the process is wrong, because when they find the right process you get to do some more work.

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Office diaries #8

There is no work for me since yesterday. I had to sit there watching others work. It was so tiring, boring. And the problem with having no work is your mind starts wandering to the outskirts, that remote areas where they sell all the pollution. It's hard to concentrate on what they are doing, when my mind is suffocating. I tried to keep it alive, but it's more like a patient on the death bed. I thought I did nothing when I was staying at home all these years. God, I was so wrong, doing nothing is sitting at a place for hours, watching others do work which you don't understand and you can't ask questions because they are busy, if you interrupt the work gets stuck and you are prohibited to do any other thing except watching them.

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Office diaries #7

It is giving me confidence.
But I'm afraid it would turn into over-confidence.

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