I don't star gaze anymore. The town is too polluted to see stars and there are few spots around town where the stars seem the brightest. More than that, watching the stars makes me sad. No, nostalgic. It reminds me of the time I was sheltered, away from the humdrum of a bustling town, hidden in a cocoon, safe from the bad people and situations. Star gazing was my father and I spending time together, talking about things that were supposed to matter now. My father said he did not want me to grow up. I grew up anyway. We don't watch the stars anymore. Our real life conversations are like our telephonic conversations- short, last mere seconds.
I read about time machines, and dreamt of making one, only to relive that one evening from when I was 12. It was just after Durga Puja, and my father and I sat on our lawn, and we were laughing. He had given me a name, buddubaccha. We were trying to look for constellations but it was a bit cloudy, and all we had was the moon in sight. My father asked me, if I knew what my name meant. I did not know. He said, my name translates to aura of the moon. I was the moon of his life.
I am not anymore. There are no more stars left. We are both old.
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