Pain, neglect & sarcastic words....

May you have suffered a lot my dear,

May you have been broken & paralyzed,

Now on, You don't have to live for others

You found your own way,

Let release yourself from all the burdens,

And fly so high that no one can reach it.

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Note to Self;

Forgive Yourself, For You.

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I understand what worries you; the fear of running out of time. But deep in the recesses of your heart, you know that time is never enough. So why are you so overwhelmed? Whatever time, little or a lot, you have at your disposal, it is yours to make the most of. You are not getting older, you are getting closer to the euphoria you wished would fall down on your tongue as fresh morning dewdrops. You are close; close enough to the reality you have been wishing for. This is not the time to turn your head behind; it's time to savour the heap that each new day has to offer. It is time, to live life by the second, not by the day. You were born to live life, not spend it in the preparation for death. You are alive, now, in this moment and nothing else matters. This may sound chimerical but it is the best you can get. It is "now", that matters and it is the "now" that ever will matter. It is the "now", that is yours and it is the "now" that nobody has the power to snatch from you.
"Now" is yours. "Now" is forever.

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क्या कर रहे थे तुम जब वो;

तुम्हारे भीतर का मोम पिघलाकर
तुममें लोहा भर रहे थे...
तुम्हारे बागीचे से फूल नोचकर
उसमें नागफनी बो रहे थे...
तुम्हारे अरमानों के सितारे तोड़कर
खुद के आंगन सजा रहे थे...

तुम्हे प्रतिकार करना चाहिए था
और करना भी है ताकि
बची रहे दुनिया में
नरमी, मासूमियत, सपने और सुंदरता!
{ लाख चाहे कोई पत्थर बनाना,
तुम्हारा ये अहसान होगा संसार पर
अगर अपने भीतर के प्रेम को बचा पाए तुम }

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Paid Content

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(A Challenge by Aesthetic Thoughts)

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May your aroma doesn't wash the air, but it could enhance my mind, even its freshness blossoms all around the wind.

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कुछ नहीं चाहिए शायरी करने के लिए

बस एक यार होना चाहिए

जो दगाबाज होना चाहिए

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Hassled by these thoughts, I remember breaking down multiple times a day, mostly at odd times and surprisingly without anyone noticing me. I remember walking out of meetings barely fast enough to stop a tear from falling. I remember making incessant washroom visits unable to see properly with constantly misty eyes. I remember sighing way too much, lack of proper breathing, holding my breath without realising and not finding a way to end this cycle. I was unable to sleep, waking up middle of the night sobbing, breaking down for minutest of things, speaking to my manager about taking a leave for mental health and to my husband about enrolling in therapy. And all this while, I wasn't able to write.

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