Ryan   (the introvert’s diary)
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Joined 10 June 2017


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Joined 10 June 2017
22 MAY 2020 AT 5:07

My old arrogant self had learned,
That not everything is meant to be saved,
That saving something is keeping them in memory alive,
That flowers bloom only when the seed is caved

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27 APR 2020 AT 3:49

I've often wondered, what would scare people the most?

Is it the mistake of making a bad choice?

Or the judgement and consequence that comes tagged with it?

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16 APR 2020 AT 2:55

Till now, I've repeatedly made the mistake of constantly trying to prevent disaster before it happened. Of holding everything tight, sometimes even suffocating it, in hopes of preventing it from falling apart. Of trying to preserve many a smile before it faded. Of trying to win wars before they start.

Frankly, It was my naive desire for peace. The desire to push things to be better than they are. It was sheer folly and arrogance to fathom that I could, and oh how wrong I was. I ended up doing more damage than good. The failure of every futile attempt fueling further rejection. Further frustration and fundamentally....
further sadness.

But now, I know that I'm not strong enough to save everything all the time. And hey, that's just fine by me. Instead I'll do what I was supposed to do right from the start. If it rains, I'll hold an umbrella instead of trying to scare life's rainclouds away. If things fall apart, I pick the pieces up. Again. And again. And again. No matter how many times. Creating a stronger construct each time. Ensuring it doesn't break in the same places.
I guess in the end, that's what humanity stands for: perseverance

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14 APR 2020 AT 12:31

Give them hope and you're an idiot.

Give them reality and you're a monster.

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4 APR 2020 AT 0:27


In emotionless culling his duty,
In oblation the reaped are sent,
A precedent set for the masses,
in repentance to have them bent.

The avenger casts a spell without voice,
His gaze bringing life to a standstill,
His touch bringing balance by villainous measure,
The egotistical foots the long due bill

As the illusion of invulnerability fades,
bringing the monarch and commoner under foot,
He leaves nations crippled in his vengeful wake,
into the incorrigible fear to put

To the insufferable he brings disillusionment,
His judgement passed by every wicked breath,
Neither monarchs nor paupers dare touch him,
Behold, the very concept of death

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4 APR 2020 AT 0:21


Neither suffering defeat nor relishing victory,
He sits atop his rotting throne,
his eyes seeing through the souls of man,
into their corrupted flesh and bone.

with acknowledgement to neither evil nor good,
His authority to his purpose staying true,
An overseer watching on as life ebbs away,
the last one standing once everything is through.

aloft upon his mountain of regret,
breath taken not for the sake of living,
his purpose lies in perpetual observation,
untouched by amoral taking and giving.

The master of rot and dread,
His cursed hand scorning everything,
Bow your head and offer your respects,
Give hail! Hail to the king

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23 MAR 2020 AT 12:17

When you try to save something over and over and find it dragging itself to oblivion, do yourself a favor and step back. Let it rot. Let it decay and let it be done.

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10 MAR 2020 AT 23:01

We each have an assigned role to play in people's lives. Some grand, some modest, some good, some bad, some as participants,some as bystanders, some as knights, some as hermits,some as fools and some as the reaper.
They may shift and dawdle with the ebb of time.

Acceptance of this ever changing plethora of roles will save you a world of heartache.

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22 FEB 2020 AT 10:37

I guess I finally understand where I've been going wrong. I keep expecting everyone to think the way I do. Feel the way I do. Guess that they simply can't. It has nothing to do with intelligence. Just understanding.

I guess, people can't be saved the way they want to be, at least not without the ramifications of their decisions.

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8 FEB 2020 AT 22:31

There's some things you can save. There's some things you can't.

That's the ever looming risk you bear when you want to be a hero.

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