क्या जब दूर जाना सबसे आसान होगा
तुम तब भी साथ रहोगे ?
क्या जब मुझे छोड़ने की हर वजह सामने होगी
क्या तब मेरा हाथ थामने की एक वजह तलाश करोगे?
क्या जब ये रिश्ता एक उलझन लगेगा
तुम तब भी इस रिश्ते के लिए रुकोगे?
और क्या ये जो मै हूं,
तुम्हारे चाहत की सोच से बिलकुल अलग
क्या फिर भी तुम अपनी ख़्वाबों वाली चाहत
की जगह मुझसे प्यार करोगे ?
क्या जब हम दोनों के ख्यालात एकदम अलग होंगे
तुम तब भी मुझसे अपनी बात करोगे?
और क्या जो कभी मै दूर हूं
तो तुम भी मुझे खिने के ख्याल से डरोगे?
यूं तो होगा नहीं कभी पर शायद
कभी जो मै रूठ जाऊं
क्या तुम भी मुझे मानने की सब कोशिश करोगे?
क्या जितना मै तुम्हारी हूं
क्या तुम भी उतना मेरे बनोगे?

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Maybe there will be one person who won't feel embarrassed of me because I am fat, may be that human won't talk about leaving me because of my body shape. May be that person won't care about that extra fat on my chin, may be that person won't feel bad in introducing me to his friends and may be he don't care about how look not just on first date but in all coming dates of us. May be my bad choices of t-shirt won't be the enough reason to leave me and may be my swollen chick won't be enough to say bye. May be I get a human who will be okay how I am, for whome staying with me will not be a compromise and I will not be trash.
May be.....

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रास्ते मंजिले सब अलग थे हमारे
दोष था तो बस उस एक मोड़ का जहां हम ठहरा करते थे

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Hey,
Just try once, I am also like others
I too need love, I too need care
Sometime I too want to scream
And still wish you will hold me
Sometimes I too want to leave
Just to listen "Don't go please"!!!
I too want a tight hug
When I brust into tears
I know sometime i..
I am annoying and not so clear
But It's not so hard to love me
I am just a like others
with multiple scars and fears.

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Kuch masle the, kuch jhagde the
Goonjti hasi bhi, thi shikayat bhi thi
Roothna bhi tha,
Manana bhi tha,
Ek dusre ko kosna bhi tha,
Samjhna bhi tha ,
Aansu bhi the kuch ,
Par chup karane wala bhi tha,
Raat ke andehre the yha,
Par roshni ki ummid bhi thi,
Sab kuch tha mere sheher me
Bas ye...Jo aaj hai na
Bas esi viraaniyat kabhi nahi thi...

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Kuch tanha hum bhi the
Kuch akele tum rhe
Vo baat alag hai
Ki dono be khamoshi ko gale lagaya.

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Hey, I can prented to be funny always in all way, so why this quarantine came and I have to face real me again. I don't want to see that pity girl always in tears and pain. I am afraid to love a bit tough to stay, but I can love even in pain. I am bit messed up and alot insane still try sometimes coz I have been a cold soul from a long way. Journey I had, was not easy, I have been left by so many in the way. Every night become more horrible with tears to the brim kill me again and can't flow. You know the words I listened they cause scars on my soul and whenever I end up healing them someone come scratch them again and go. So,I just want a hand to just feel the scars and not scratch ,a shoulder over which I would cry , a human to look into my eyes. And if it's so big deal in my life please put me back in my fake world I can pretend well to be happy and numb.

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Vo Mere sapno me rehta hai
Vo Mere ashkon me behta hai
Vo Meri neend me sota hai
Vo Meri subah me uthata hai
Vo Meri Thaki hui aankho ki
taazgi ka raz hai
Jo Nam ankho ko bhi hsa de
vo vahi ehsaas hai
Vo Meri Andheri raat ka mehtab hai
Jo panno me na aa paye
Vo daastan hai
Vo Jo door hokr bhi kareeb hota hai
Bas vo vahi ek naam hai.

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What is worse ?
Nahh not missing someone the worse is when you miss someone and can't call them like before to shout that "ayee I miss you". Bad is when you am see them only in those memories and not in real . The moment you both created haunts you. You crave for their voice,for that insanity for that hell face and end up with few memories in your gallery. You try to figure out what and where things went wrong, you put a bit extra effort to every possible thing you can and end up with disappointment. You smile like nothing happen but somewhere deep inside you miss those humans with whome you created some best memories and they don't even care for the bond you guys shared once that's worse even more than that.

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Bahot waqt ho gya kisi se kuch kha nahi
Aur ab kehne ki dil ki bhi rza nahi
Khamoshiya ghar Kar rhi hai mujhme
Shayad fir se bolne ke liye mere pas kuch rha nahi...

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