Fake friends

गुम हो गईं हैं
मेरी नादानियां कहीं मुझमें
मैं मेरी वीरानियों मैं तसल्ली ढूँढती हूँ!!

मैं आयी थी अपने घर से निकल के
ज़िंदगी की ऊँची उड़ान भरने को

कि इस शहर में
चालबाज़ों का जाल बड़ा लम्बा है !!

नहीं समझते दोस्त यहाँ दोस्ती किसी की
नहीं करते वो वफ़ा, फिसल जाते हैं
जिस ओर हो फ़ायदा उनका !!

ना समझो कि मैं सब सहती हूँ
यूँ शांत रहती हूँ
जो फस जाओ अगर कभी तुम अपने ही जाल में

न दिखाना मुझे तुम फिर से
दोस्ती झूठीं
न दोहराना वही सज़ियों फिर से पुरानी
मैने कई बार तुम्हें आज़माया है
नहीं लगता वक़्त तुम्हें दोस्ती कुचलने में !!

शायद सुना नहीं हैं तुमने
नहीं लगता वक़्त, वक़्त बदलने में !!

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ग़म-ए-हालत पे रहम आया
तरस जायेगें अपने ही घर जाने को एक दिन
मेरे इस हाल पे मुझे आज बहुत ग़म आया

इस बार नहीं न सही
मैं अगली दफ़ा फिर जाऊँगी
मुझे मेरे इस ख्याल से सुकून आया
ग़म-ए-हालत पे रहम आया

ज़िंदगी क्यों, इस तरह से उलझीं है
ज़िंदगी ही बनाने मे, ये ज़िंदगी वे क़दर झुलसी है
कि कई अरसों से वो इक शाम सुकूं की आई नहीं
आज जो तप रहीं हूँ मैं कल शायद, ज़िंदगी मे सवेरा होगा
मुँझे इसी ख्वाब पे, जोश आया
ग़म-ए-हालत पे रहम आया

रिश्ते तोड़ लिये, कुछ दोस्तों ने हमसे
इस फेरेबी दुनिया मे वो मासूमियत कहाँ ढूँढूँ मैं
मैं इसी खोफ़ से ख़ुद को बहला लाया
ग़म-ए-हालत पे रहम आया

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‘’Dear you‘’
A face so calm, expression so silent with a cute mesmerising eyes,
but, No hint of a smile, no words to disclose or reply
Each day I see you, with the same old routine
This silence deafens, expression cold and mean,
What could be the cause, I often wonder
What lies behind this mask, a mystery unseen
But still I wonder, what lies beneath,
Your soul so hidden and pure, a heart out of reach.
Your presence brings a smile on my face,
A warmth that fills my heart with grace.
Like sunshine on a cloudy day.
Hoping to see a smile on your face, want just little talk
Maybe one day, your walls will fall,
And I'll find behind it all.

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The pain within my heart is strong,
A burden that I bear too long.
It weighs me down, it makes me weak,
And all I do is cry and seek.

I seek for comfort, for some peace,
For something that can make me cease.
But all I find are broken dreams,
And all I feel are silent screams.

The world around me seems so cold,
A place of pain, where love grows old.
The sky is gray, the wind is chill,
And every moment brings a thrill.

A thrill of pain that cuts me deep,
A wound that never seems to sleep.
It eats away that all I am,
And leaves me empty, like a broken dam.

I try to find some light to hold,
To warm my heart and break the cold.
But all I see are shadows deep,
And all I hear is pain and weep.

So let me sit here, all alone,
And allow my tears and mourn my bone.
For though the pain may never go,
My spirit still can rise and glow.

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कोई कश्ती थी जो बहा ले गई
यारी वो दोस्ती
संग अपने न जाने कहाँ ले गई
ढूँढती हूँ, मैं वो बीती कहानी
कोई पन्ना ही मिल जाये मुझे
मैं दोस्ती के वो पुराने लफ़्ज़ पढ़ना चाहती हूँ ॥

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Hey, my shadow
Sit down and listen
Why are you walking away from me
Let’s have a coffee together
Can we sit and talk
a place where there is only high wind and classical sound
I need some peace
I want to go away from me
I know, when we will walk together
Again you will walk away from me
Still , I’m asking you
Can you stay with me for some time
Just hold my hand and walk with me on empty road
I want to tell you my whole sad, loneliness story
In the middle, if u will cry I will stop
Or if you want to go, I will not try to stop you
Because I know how painful my story is
But just hold me, My shadow
Don’t walk away from me

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Loneliness is like a trauma
everyone is suffering from that stage
It’s like a part of life drama
No friends, no talk , no walk out of my zone
Looking at the silence in side me
I cried a lot sitting on my favourite corner of my room
While walking alone, while talking alone, while living alone.
I’m not at the place of secluded
I’m always sitting in round the people’s hearing noises
Talk also continue but seems like only for purpose
Some times it’s very hurtful
when people talk like two faces and laugh after talking to me on some topics
It hurt a lot when politics, seniority or rudeness mix around us
It affects a lot
When i feel alone even if I know I’m introvert
That’s all I got
That’s all, why I feel alone
That’s all, why I stopped to talk too much
That’s all, why I stooped to say anything
That’s all, why, I’m alone
But I’m happy
I am fall in love in my loneliness’s.

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Loneliness is not just when complete silence around me. Even I feel alone in the crowd. In side me, i'm very sick, damage and thong of pain even find emptiness, restlessness.

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How simple it is to hold 
someone accountable for their errors
even if you were also a part of it.

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Bade tanha, mayus, akele rah gaye hain ham yahan
Ye zakhm kabhi to bhar jaenge
Jab Kisi roz es ghutan mai hi mar jaenge,
Shayad wo pal meri jindagi mai jald ayenge.

Ab tamanna nahi rahi, koi dilasha de dikhawe ki
Akele hain kahin bikhre huye,
Jo Kisi din hadd par hui meri bewasi ki
Tum jo sochte nahi ham ek din fir wahi kar jaenge.

Mashruf hain sab kahi, khud hi khud mai
Dhimen - dhimen ab yakin sa kar raha hun,
Ki ye swad teri dosti se bhi aenge......

Bade arse huye hain muje mujhko dhode huye
Aj bada hi udas or pareshan hun mai
aziyyat ye dard se mai zakhmi ho gaya hun

Aj beth kisi kone main cheekh - cheekh kar roo raha hun mai,
Yahi soch ki ye din guzar jaenge
Ki ye pal shyad kabhi to ayenge.

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