The veins of the leaves,
Tell a story,
Of how the sun gets to it, yet soothes.
Of how the water cleanses it but fails to nourish
Of how the soil feels like home, from a distance
Of how the gentle touch of breeze brings a challenge to stay on or fly away
Of never underestimating growth within stagnation.

-

I’m so tired that I don’t even feel tired
You
Me
A series of complicated almosts
I wish I could hold our home in my heart
But I can’t lift it all alone
And it hurts
It hurts like hope.
A hope of maybe someday.

-

The road one fears to travel
Often holds the goals one seeks!
Life is easier to manage when you’re on your own side.

-

There is a scene in Chak De India where
Shahrukh Khan is pissed off at the senior most player since she defies him and tries to snatch the captaincy of the team at every step possible.

And while watching it for the fifteenth time, the emotion behind the dialogue hits me for the first !
He says “Pehle apni game doosro se unchi karna, Uske baad apni Awaz”
This underrated line shook me.
It opened an insight where I realised that most of us are busy proving our version of right or wrong, projecting our feelings onto others, asking for reassurances and validations from our significant others.
My version of understanding of Shahrukhs dialogue is that one should strive at being better than oneself before demanding anything from other people. One should strive to progress before questioning others success or failures.
One should be oneself before asking others to be someone else.

-

What do you do when the world
Starts challenging your core?
Begins to tell you that all this while
You’ve been living under the wrong assumption
That people like you for who you are
When the adults start pointing out that you no more are a child and except for growing up
This society gives you no other choices
Your every step is decided
Every decision is scrutinised
Every breath is owed
To the people who surround you
Who bound you
To change your heart
Because “beta softness will kill you in the long run”
Because “playfulness is considered a vulnerability”
Because “a small mistake at this age can cost you your life”
Because “innocence is unparallely mistaken as immaturity”
Because “no one will take you seriously if you don’t take yourself so”
I thought I’ll fit my happy fairy tale in this big bad world
I thought I’ll fix everyone
Not realising
That it is me who needs fixing first.
Because “beta people don’t let those live who are not strong”

-

And after a while it starts to settle.

The doubts.
The insecurities.
The fear of being raw and vulnerable.
The darkness.

It befriends you like soft breeze
Blowing across your face
It accepts you like a drop in the ocean
It let’s you be like fall in summer.

Most importantly it loves you
Like you always wanted to be.

-

Why is it so important to know everything?
Why is it so vital to hustle to get success?
Why is it so significant to adjust in life ?
With questions brimming my mind non stop, I turned to astrology- and nothing happened
Then I turned to temples- nothing happened again
Finally I turned to books- something happened

Nothing miraculous but a deep desire to learn over powered my questions.
I realised my questions were more of complaints than doubts
I projected my insecurities on to the society and questioned their believes while getting defensive about my own.
Came across Krishnamurthy sir who is an epitome of clarity and compassion.
I was oblivious and busy asking without working while the nature on the other hand was busy answering everything !
Freedom from the desire for an answer is essential to the understanding of a problem.

-

We’ve been raised in a world
Of delusional information,
Accepting it’s okay to be uncertain with your plans, unstable in your relationships and waiting without a purpose.

However I tend to differ, there are some clauses we often forget;

Yes it’s okay to be uncertain as long as you’ve got your goals sorted
Yes it’s okay to be in unstable relationships as long as you know the difference between standing up and walking away for your own self
Yes it’s okay to wait without a purpose as long as you have the fire within that won’t fizzle out with just a little breeze.

In a world of delusional information, clarity is the real power.

-

Stop shrinking to
Fit in the places
You’ve outgrown.

Knowing ones worth
Is more important than
Showing it on media’s and phones

Have the courage to leave
The table
If
Respect is no longer served
Be confident in your own verve!

-

This mental health day
Choose progression over perfection
Choose to measure your growth in terms of contentment and laughter rather than kilos and pounds
Your body is not a battleground
Your mind is not a dumping hound
Not just today, but everyday let’s not judge people by their past but stand with them to repair their future together moulded with compassion and love.

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