My cat getting offended
that I got hurt because he bit me
will never cease to amuse me.

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Sometimes
When you go to thrift shops
You be like
I get why everyone got rid of this shit
2022 was one such year mostly
Anyways
Hoping 2023 ends up in gift shops.

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Badly want to
gulp in a bottle of benadryl
and walk into a haunted house
section of a theme park
with a pepper spray.

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Duck 1 : Why did you agree for a dual with our rival hen?

Duck 2 : I wanted prove everyone that I am not a chicken.

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Love having conversation with kids
This one kid just asked me
What's my third favorite reptile is.

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Note to self :

Your suffering gives you the right
to grieve,
freedom to stay mute but
definitely not the authority to be rude.

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Whenever I try to be productive :

My brain : Okay dude I will wait outside, let me know once you are done, we will go and check out that new ice cream place we were thinking about last night.

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My body is a wonderland
and by wonderland, I mean
I wonder why I land
so many injuries just getting
out of bed.

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I would love for detachable cargo pants
to be back in fashion as my
welcome gift
as I step into mid life crisis.

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Me ( talking to myself and rolling the pen ) : what should I put as identification mark column in this form?

Dad ( murmuring ) : put it as always with a phone in his hand.

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