My inner chaotic world

I hurted her again
Sayed hurtful words to her
Even when I didn't mean to
But I am also broken to the point that my silent cries remain unheard by anyone...
I don't need anyone's validation or understanding ..
Just let me be ...
Just when I was back on track of healing with taping down every broken part of me
But you kept breaking me over and over ..I have became dismantle..
I have caged myself away just to protect myself..
And it's a type of defence of mine to keep myself from feeling numbness and pain ..
Just let it go ...
Don't ask and leave me alone ...

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I don't know your name
I don't know where you are
I don't know if we have even crossed our paths ..
I do know that I am still here ..
Waiting for you ...

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I wanted to text you ..
But last text reminded me with a red flag ..
That we weren't meant to be from the start ...

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Even with all flaws and clumsiness ..
Sadness and restless
Cheerful and confused
Energetic yet terrible mood swings..
Because it's just me and you

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Not every moment
you share with someone
is only temporary
because no one
can ever understand
another completely...
It lies and the sugar
quote promises
saying,"I'm always
here for you and
I understand you".

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Full of surprises from cheerful sunrise to burn out sunset with hurtful thoughts and unexplained mood swings while hoping everything to just end...

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to be happy during chaotic time

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MY OWN THOUGHTS 💭
It hurts, when I am not in anyone's priority list ..
Not even those who are my fav person...
Yes, I am complaining
Because I am the one
Who always says,"it's ok, I understand ."
It breaks my heart everytime
When I put myself out their with smile and expect next time this will be different, as the difficulties for today is different...
But the next time is also the same..
I don't need world to say expectation hurts as my own thoughts and hope betrays..
Letting me down million times ..
Just because I m not in anyone's priority list..

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about my silent cry..

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thin coat of ice over a deep lake in winter season

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