Oh where will I reach
When my path is a spiral
How ever far I run
I end up encountering Me !

Is there an escape
Or should I have to meet
Me, some damn day?!

-

Circle.

It's okay if your circle is small
Too small to be defined
It's even okay if you don't have
A circle at all.

But you know what's not okay?
Having an imaginary circle.
That only pretends to be,
Also that you can't get out of?
No, not okay !

-

What should you do when you yourself don't meet your expectations?




Only one thing. Forgive !

-

There are certain people who're known for overthinking.
Me, one of them.

I hadn't known the point when one becomes, well, 'An Overthinker' ! No one sits and thinks purposefully, it just happens. Thoughts are always there. But when exactly do they cross the limit? What is the point then, where thinking turns overthinking? Also, who fixes that limit?
I really do not know.

May be thinking itself is stressful. We might have created work and life, to run away from thinking. Work keeps our thoughts at bay, don't they?
And that's why I say we do not 'become' a overthinker. We simply are one, may be.

-

What use is your beloved Money of,

If it doesn't buy you the Time or Health
To relish it?

-

People have asked me what I've wanted to become ever since I have memories now.

When I was 3, I said I wanted to be a 'drawer'. (Cos I used to draw thin stick figures and boats easily and I was not aware of terms like 'artist' or 'painter')

When I was 8, I said I'll be a teacher.(Cause they questioned when I hadn't written my homework and in my little world then, teachers had more power)

At 13, I said I'll be a cook. (Cook, yes. As I could make tasty bread omlettes and was contented with a full stomach then, quite unaware of a full purse)

At 18, I chose something to study that wasn't at all related to what I had said above.

At 23, I got a job. Mundane one. Also I got some money.

Strange. People now never ask me what I wanted to 'become'. They think I've already 'become' what I've wanted. (Or may be, they don't care at all.)

Even more strange. All of a sudden something haunts often, 'What do I want to become?'
But no answers strike like before. It's always just the question now !

-

Have you ever feared yourself?
If you find that you're not the home
You'd thought yourself to be
For your own self
Then where else would you go?

Has anyone gone beyond that
And looked? Not just looked
But also found a home?
If so, where or whom or how
Was that?!

-

I still keep battling all day
And even more, all night
Nothing scares me
But I'm always scared
Do you get me?!


Also how I wish I overcome
This battle, and I survive
Atleast to tell the story !

-

Rummaging through my bookshelf, he suddenly pulled off a book and asked me, "You've read so many books, let me see if you remember all those. Now tell me what you read in this book?!"

"What?!", I was quite astounded. "You want to check if remember what's in that book?.. hmm.. well I don't know how to say.."

A haughty stupid grin grew on his lips. "Lol, you forget once you close the book?", he mocked with a laugh.

I felt that funny. I was able to get that he's never been into 'reading' and most of all I didn't know how to make him understand what I wanted to say.
"See, whatever has been read may or may not be in my mind, 'as words'. Yes it's true that I forget once I finish a book, but then, the book becomes a 'part of me'. A person before a book and after a book are never the same. The book redesigns him, subconsciously. Sometimes the reader realizes, but most times he doesn't. Because the book adds up to that 'person' itself. How can you know 'you' from 'you'?!
The actual bliss or benefit or whatever you may call it, is not in remembering the words but in 'reading' them!", I said calmly.

He nodded. I was sure he never understood.
But he never asked me anything ever.

-

It's so scary
Deep in here

Why'd I come here
In the first place

I could've lived
On the surface

Like everyone else
It wasn't scary at all

Why'd I come here
I must've lost my way

How'll I get back
From deep within my self ?

Oh, seems I ain't
Known 'me' before!

How'll I escape 'me'
Oh, Oh ! I better stay !

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