She was a walking mess,
He was like a disciplined army child.
She never knew what she'd do the next day,
He'd have his months planned.
It was a miracle if she remembered anything,
He'd recite events from past like poems.
She'd cry like a baby,
He'd always be the shoulder.
She would talk and talk and talk,
He'd smile and listen.
There was never any perfect reason for them to fall in love,
There was never any perfect reason for them to get to know each other.
Except one.
Only one.
They had an entire life to spend together.
Where she ended, he started,
Where he stopped, she started.
They were two different incomplete people,
Living as one person.

-

His smile would make me go crazy,
His voice would fill me with joy,
His embrace would complete me.
He was perfect in ways that put me in awe.
My past covered in horrors I cannot, even
Accept to my self.
MY past making me this scared empty human I am today.
He accepts that.
He accepts me.
But i can see it in the corner of his eyes,
His fears and his doubts,
They brim and brim.
He doesn't say it but it's there. Right there.
And I should help him to get rid of them,
But the demons in me destroy it. Destroy the voice of righteousness.
I doubt myself.
I doubt him.
I doubt us

-

They looked at her,
With disgust.
With hatred.
With judgement.
They gossiped about her,
Her clothes, slutty.
Her voice, shrilled.
Her hair, a mess.
Her face, oh my! Too much makeup.
They didn't know her.
But they made an image of her,
Because her freedom didn't suit them.
Because her good life didn't satisfy their need for drama.
They mocked her,
She's alone, ofcourse.
She wears red lipstick, must be for attention.
She has male friends, must be having sex.
They didn't know her.
They didn't try to know her.
She was alone yes!
She was happy yes!
But was this her story?
Was this all they could find in her?
They looked at her,
Yet didn't see her struggle.
Didn't see her tears.
Didn't see her fights.
They judged and mocked her.
But didn't see her beauty inside out.
Didn't see her kindness and innocence.
Didn't see her forgiveness for them.

-

I see as life passes by.
I see and see and see.
People move on, people change, people forget.
I just see.
I don't move.
I don't change.
I don't forget.
I see happiness and sadness
I see liveliness and death.
But that's all, I just see.
I don't feel. The numbness in my veins.
People live, people love, people forgive.
I just see.
I am not living.
I am not loving.
I am not forgiving.
.
There is only one thing I do.
I just SEE.

-

Do you hear that?
The screams without any noise.
The heart breaking like glass.
The soul being crushed to dust.
.
Do you hear that?
The girl asking for help but is quiet.
The girl asking for freedom but is caged.
The girl asking for trust but is used.
.
Do you hear that?
The woman crying in pain but is alone.
The woman hiding her wounds from herself.
The woman smiling but is shattered.
.
Can you hear that?
Can you feel that?
If you cannot, have you turned deaf?
If you cannot, is the human in you dead?
If you cannot, how do you live with yourself?

-

She felt her soul shatter,
Into million pieces.
If she listens carefully, she could still hear it;
Like hundreds of glasses breaking,
All at once.
.
She was drowning,
In her darkness, in her pain.
The irony being she could swim,
She just chose not to.
.
Suffocating herself in her mind,
Immense sadness surrounding her.
And with hundreds of pieces of her soul,
She let the darkness take over.
.
She yearned to be free,
Of her burden, of her emptiness
And of herself.
To vanish amongst the crowd.
.
So she welcomed the darkness,
Like an old friend and with open arms;
And a heart so broken, a soul so damaged.
That one could see her eyes full of scars.

-

Those unsaid words,
Those unshed tears,
The fake smile,
The lonely walks,
They became her companions,
The forever ones..

-

"How are you?"
"What's the matter?"
"Okay?"
Questions that are often ignored and left unanswered.
But is the answer that matters or the question?
Not hearing it from the people you thought you matter to forms an ugly knot around the heart.
And the feeling of hopelessness and uselessness tugs at it harder.

-

At times I prefer alone over friends.
At times I choose myself over family.
At times I decide selfishly.
At times I judge others and be a hypocrite.
At times I do wrong knowingly.
But does that make me a bad person?
I believe it makes me more human.
I believe it makes me more real than anybody else.
I accept who I am. Hypocrite or not.
Selfish or not. Wrong or not
I accept who I am.
Do you?
Would you?

-

Stand by me when they mock me,
Stand by me when they hate me,
Not in front not behind just beside me holding my hand.
Let your smile be my weakness,
Your support my strength,
Your love be my wings.
Let me reach for the highest peaks with you.
Let me act insane in my downs.
Be the person who accepts me for me,
Not for the changes renowned.

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