Courage,
That is what it takes to love,
You let your heart sit on a gridiron
expecting them not to place coals beneath.
You are tied to a rod in broad daylight
Trying to survive even when you could be chopped
Your heart is placed above boiling water
burning as it slips out from their hands.
You let your walls down for them
risking yourself to being bombed.
Vulnerability,
You could lose what's left
But you could also gain it all.
-
Unconsciously we entered this war,
And I no longer know how I feel,
It's part sun, part rain,
Part autumn, part spring.
I'm anxious and sleepless,
People around me are warriors,
They are singing, learning,
building and breaking,
They are dancing, cooking,
swimming and drowning,
They are sleeping, eating,
trying and failing,
They are writing, painting,
standing and falling,
Xyz-ing I mean,
But winning the battle,
Constructing and deconstructing,
Everyone is a bricoleur, they
destroy and create,
attract and repel,
feel alone in a crowd,
look at the lone crowds,
Attempting to form from the formless.
My emotions are a mess,
The sky is changing colours,
I am in bed,
Half-asleep and half-awake.-
We're all hidden,
Facing ourselves,
But still escaping.
We seek a home,
In shows, in movies,
In books, in games,
Anything but ourselves.
We don't want it,
The Emptiness,
Loneliness and us,
Desperate from inactivity,
Feeling that we should run.
We don't peep in,
Discarding our emotions,
Disregarding our persona.
Craving the chaos,
Our pieces lay scattered,
But we don't put them together.-
Is there anything as insanity in a world that has already gone insane?
-
You were life,
I could talk to you all day,
And then all night,
I could tell nothing,
Yet everything.
But then, one day,
You left.
I don't regret anything,
Neither letting you in,
Nor letting you out.
But if you come back,
You must know,
I don't breathe in you,
Not anymore.-
I wonder, if I'll ever feel as alive within, as lively you've taught me to be.
-
And when I look out, I realize,
Life has more to it than the things we get affected by every other day.
-
I didn't just give up on you babe. It was a lot more than that, it was about all the unnoticed 'I love you's, it was about the nights I spent awake just wanting someone to hold me, when you didn't even care enough to text back, it was about the times I asked you to do something special, and you just said you already did it for someone and they left, it was about all the times I sent you something about how you feel and you just acted as if you didn't even see it, it was about all that I wanted to tell you but couldn't, it was about all the times I kept looking at my phone , thinking that maybe someday you will realise that even you could go wrong and apologize, maybe someday you'll realize that you actually mean something me, and no matter what you do I'll always want you in my life, maybe I still do, but you never realized and I couldn't handle it anymore.
-