for i am just a leaf
in her garden of friends.
so don't ask if she will pause and pick
me, when i can no longer stand.

-

My superpower is to resist, every attempt that my eyes make, to go through our past conversations.

-

When I say, 'I feel like June'.

I mean
everything that I hold as mine
feel like it belonged to someone else first.
And surely there will come a day
when I, too, must let go.

I mean
Mr Frost has invited me on a journey and
I'm quite unsure of the road I have taken.
Should I follow the ones before me
or should I do life differently.

I mean
I feel invisible
yet comfortable.
Like no one is expecting anything of me, and
no one knows I'm not existing.

-

the bedizen reality I prayed for, only to tear it down a moment later and ogle at the familiar disfigured face of my existence.

-

If only I had more time.

Imagine.
If you were to live for a 1000 years.
Would you have done things differently?
Would you have continued on the path of diminishing self confidence
Or would you have, at least, tried to find something worth while?
Is irrefutability of the remaining time so germane
As to render you hopeless without it?
Doesn't certainity make you blind to impossibilities
This hopeless life of yours so dearly wishes for?
Ask yourself what is it
You actually want.

-

Settle on me
like dust on the fretboard,
like rust on the strings.
Drive me mad
until I pick up and play the chords,
until I pick myself up and sing.

I learned it the hard way
self pity never runs out of stride.
It gains on you,
it gains on you again
like a stupid two year old monster child.

Hope I can
hold the guitar and play the part.
And soon everything will make sense
once the tune starts.

-

2019, things I am grateful for:



\\ read the caption below

-

Each morning mirror witnesses a boy
in man's clothes
wearing a man's watch
hairs combed and smile, fixed.


[ Read Below...]

-

We happened like a car crash. None saw the other coming. What then? Glass breaking, tyers flying, metals bending - then blending into one.

We happened like a car crash. None saw the other coming. What then? Mask breaking, kisses flying, boundaries bending - then blending into one.

Neither of us survived, did we?

It awes me to think how we broke each other at first sight, just to fit each other.

Report: Violent crash. Internal haemorrhages. Only one can be saved.

-

August is isolation
[you are desperate for]
August is slow days and fast nights
[you are losing words]
August is to wave goodbye to friends
[they are going on vacation]
August is "stay-at-home preparation"
[you have that job interview]
August is cheap alcohol and sad songs
[you are broke and alone]

August still smells of simpler school days,
mid-terms are around the corner
but you have enough time
so you don't mind spending an extra hour
at your friend's place.
And you were happy.

-