Sometimes I walk as if it is the last time I'm going to that place.
And I watch sunsets like it's my last time.
I keep feeling that these are probably the endings, but not as in death, maybe death, but certainly the ending of phases in my life.
I, now feel happier more often than sadness. For the past 1 year and 4 months, I've felt so much at myself and felt content, happy, present and in the most surprisingly best self of me. I keep wondering how this is happening to me. I still have no answer. After all that has happened and all the consistent sadness I put myself through, yes I did it to myself, it feels surreal to be happy, finally.
It feels so beautiful even when waves of sadness hits. Because I now know for a fact that I can be happy by doing things that I enjoy. And it wasn't until a year ago I found those things and I just keep doing them.-
Patience can solve a lot of problems, but most importantly it can prevent a lot of problems from happening.
-
On new people, places and acquaintances
This week started with me being in a dark phase of my life, lot of confusion, unmade decisions, and with a huge milestone in my career. All together.
But as I'm ending this week, I am in one of the most settled states of mind. With a lot of new people in my life I feel right in the middle of happiness. This is truly one of those weeks where you are a totally different person to when it is started.
I remember the journey I made to my new job location with an intention to leave after a week and then to return after a few days. Little did I know that I'll be going to my new home. And boy, I fell in love with this place, gradually though. I'm grateful for this.
And now as I am traveling back, I am not the person who came here. I feel so much happiness that I feel like I can do anything I want to do. I guess just like true love, true happiness also empowers you.
On that note, with immense happiness.
Jesmary-
Everything in life means something,
Except that some of those mean bullshit.-
So anyways, Moving on..
I keep getting reality checks,
from people who live by me
from people who live for me too.
There is a point where everything falls off of the priority checklist and you can see that one thing staring right at you, big and bold. And with no doubt, no second thought, you choose it, prioritise it and nurture it till you breathe your last.-
are friends.
I run into many of them whenever I come to my hometown.-
So there lived a soldier,
who came back from a battle,
and one by one,
all of his friends committed suicide,
and he spent the rest of life
attending their funerals.
Sometimes he used to wonder
how does it feel to leave forever,
but he came back to live,
not to be overtaken by the survivors guilt.
But how long do you hold on to life, that was spared by death himself?-
There used to be a place where I felt safe, and powerful,
losing it made me restless,
and I started a battle to rediscover it,
only to know that,
The more I search,
the farther it goes away from me.
That little place was my happiness.-