Joyful crowds
Chasing gingerbread scent in the air
Is it laughter or jingle bells
That I can hear from every corner
Wake up a child inside of you
Says the jolly song
Better not
This child of mine is stillborn
Couldn't have survived
In this cold dungeon
My heart

-

It's the most wonderful time
Of the year
Decorating my Christmas tree
With all these memories
Shall I light up the lamps
Hoping they kill darkness
Inside of me
Gifts are already there
Underneath the tree
I am so scared to unbox them
To find a promise
Of another year
Without the ones I love
Who are long gone

-

Winter
No, it's not that cold
Especially, if heart is frozen already
These silverish snowflakes
Swirling in the night sky
Are just like shooting stars
Thousands of them, so many wishes
That melt and die within few seconds
Definitely
Of all four seasons
Death is my favorite one

-

Loneliness
Smells like cardamom tea
In the Sunday afternoon
Feels like cashmere shawl
Wrapped around tired heart
I open the door
And let her inside
Good you are here, my loneliness
I felt so lonely without you

-

Good luck in searching
A key to my heart
Better to stay away
From dead and haunted places
Inhabited by ghosts of the past
They walk along
The blood-red corridors
Murmuring something to themselves
The spookiest of them
Are called regrets

-

No storm dwells within me
Only this silence
That scares even ghosts
Haunting my mind
Beautiful smile they say
You wouldn't like to know
What's hidden behind it

-

Waiting
For this white silence
Of the Christmas fairy tale morning
Sneaking into my mind
With the scent of cinnamon
And taste of gingerbread
This feeling
Of being tucked in warm duvet
Of unconditional love
And watching through the window
Snow icing on winter roofs
But no
Not this time
Cold gravestone reminds me
That only memories
Will lull me to sleep
Which, oh how I wish, could be eternal

-

We won't leave you ever
Where will we find
A place like this
Dark, yet cozy
Filled with scary music
And a scent of cemetery flowers
River of deadly thoughts
Plus you feed us so well
We grow on your sorrow
We put on weight eating your pain

I take a sip of black coffee
Indeed, it's of no use
To negotiate with my demons

-

One of these foggy days
Foggy outside
And inside
So I cannot find even myself
Stranded among these ghostly trees
Of my mind's dead garden
Their scary, cold branches
Like sticky arms of the dead
Try to reach me, as I walk
Along the banks of black river
Shall I jump into deep waters of Styx
Or better to wait for the Charon's boat
No matter what I choose
Death will catch me anyway
So I sit there
Chatting with my pain
The most loyal companion ever

-

November
All dressed in gold and purple
Cold- hearted assassin of warm nights
Comes every year unwatched,
Yet expected
Silently, like a vampire
Sucking blood of your blood
And flesh of your flesh
Leaving only emptiness
And candles on graves
Yes, he is merciful
He sometimes allows the dead
To walk along the cemetery alleys
Of our memory

-